Dear Daniel's Teacher

I am writing because this is the fourth year in a row that my son's been labeled as "difficult" and "inattentive." I am aware of your concerns and I appreciate you letting me know that you think he's brilliant but unfocused. I also appreciate you letting me know that you've been teaching for 30 years. Several times. That should make you an expert in handling children of all temperaments. So, imagine my surprise when I find you are having such difficulty with my Daniel. Amazing how one child can bring your classroom serenity to a screeching halt.

I have never disagreed that Daniel has difficulty dealing with transitions. I know that it is something that has been written about many times by the school counselor and I know that you've been chatting with his previous teachers so this should come as no surprise to you. My question for you is this: why in the world would you send him to the Reading Specialist (who seems to find Daniel delightful, eager to work and very attentive) five minutes after arriving at school? Do you think this is potentially setting him up to feel behind for the entire day? I think that if you ask him about this, he will tell you that he feels as though he's playing catch-up until the end bell rings.

As far as his DWP from last week goes, I am aware that you think you personally put the packet in his homework folder but I can assure you that it was not in there last Tuesday. I, personally, go through his homework folder as soon as he arrives home and it was never there. Can you possibly admit that you made a mistake and that when he asked you for another because he didn't have one, you wouldn't hold it against him as being forgetful? I highly doubt that he took it out of the folder and "did something with it before getting home." Of course, I'm not ruling that out as a possibility but I struggle with why he would only remove that one bit of homework. Especially when he's been threatened with no computer, no DS and no outside time if he forgets his homework again.

I also understand that Daniel took the wrong spelling test last week. Yes, he should have known, as he was taking the test, that he didn't find any of the words familiar but as this is only the second spelling test of the year, do you think that you are being a little hard on him? You must have some very smart students if you've never had a single student in your 30 years of teaching take the wrong test. As someone who once taught third grade, I know that that kind of organization can be difficult for some 8 year olds. I'm sorry that Daniel had to be your first student to make this mistake.

I understand that, as a third grader, Daniel needs to learn personal responsibility and self-direction. I commend you for making the effort to make all of your students self-sufficient. This is one of the reasons I've been letting Daniel slide for a bit. He needs to learn that there are consequences for not doing homework or not paying attention in class. Unfortunately, I don't see that you are dishing out any consequences for these behaviors. You specifically told us at Meet-The-Teacher Night that all that they will be required to do is fill out a missing homework form and that we can dish out the punishment if we so choose. I guarantee that all Daniel wants to do is please you and if you start doling out the punishment, he'll start complying. The boy doesn't find me a threat. You, he does.

So, I will not, as you suggest, "take Daniel to see our pediatrician." We've been down that road last year and our pediatrician doesn't see an issue. It may be because his parents don't see an issue, but I don't want to put words into his mouth. I would be more than happy to sit with you and talk about developing an IEP or 504 plan that would guarantee the accommodations that it seems you've been having to make without one. That would actually please me quite a bit. That way, maybe I'd get you teachers who seem to think 8 year olds are mini adults off my son's back.

Sincerely,
Daniel's Mom and advocate