Last week I had a parent/teacher conference with Daniel's teacher. She talked about how he's made huge improvements this year and is at grade level in all of his subjects. He's a good writer and loves art. He's also quiet in class, never disruptive, and seems to have many friends. However, she had some concerns about how he looks like he's working but he's really doodling. She also said that he has to sit in the front of the room because if she moves him, he goes off into his own world. She's concerned about third grade because, "they have to work so much more independently."
At the end of the conference, she told me that she thought it would be a good idea to chat with our pediatrician about Daniel. She'd be happy to write a letter for me to give to him if I'd like. I told her fine (to get her off my back). That letter came home yesterday.
I was more than angry when I read the letter. She's given me no indication, before now, that things were as bad as she says they are. The line, "his mother has also expressed some issues at home that complicate his performance at home and with homework," irritated me beyond belief. WTF? I told her that he hates doing his homework. Ugh. Anyway...
She listed his strengths and weaknesses as she sees them. I did smile when she said he is "uniquely creative" and listed it as a strength. However, some of her weaknesses piss me off.
*doodles, fidgets at desk when attention is needed
*reads in a flat, monotone voice
*lacks organizational skills
*doesn't seek help when needed
*homework is often late and is not completed thoroughly (this, I know for a fact, is crap)
She's also concerned that he relies heavily on her. Honestly, I can't believe some of this stuff. I'm not saying Daniel is the greatest student in the world but come on. She even had the nerve to bring up crap that happened in kindergarten. Seriously?
Mike and I decided to make Daniel an appointment with his pediatrician (for Monday) but refuse to even consider medication (unless he has an actually disease or whatever) and we will be telling them that.
I'm not kidding myself here, though. I know Daniel can be a challenge. I've been doing a lot of research online and, while I don't think he has ADHD, I do think there may be an underlying learning disability of some sort. He fits very nicely in some of the categories (trouble learning letters, rhyming, etc). I can't help but think that, in some ways, he's lost. Here's the problem: the school has to do the LD evaluation and testing. This brings in my favorite person in the world, the school psychologist. The same guy that said Daniel was clinically depressed and had severe anxiety disorder. Awesome. However, it's a ton of work for them, which makes me smile just a little.
The good thing about a possible LD diagnosis is that he would either fall under a Section 504 and/or IEP (individualized education plan). This would mean that his teacher's concern about more independent study in third grade would be thrown out since if he needs more personalized attention, he's legally required to have it.
I think what makes me so mad is that the possibility of anything other than ADHD has been completely ruled out by his school up until now. Of course, I'm getting ahead of myself here but grrrrrrrr!!! That's my baby boy they're messing with!
3 comments:
But the sad thing is, his "weaknesses" sound quite normal. Except for the reading, all those points would have described me as a second grader (and third, and seventh) very well. Of course you know him best, so you know if there's really an underlying problem; but mostly it just seems like Daniel doesn't fit the mold and doesn't go with the system.
(*Here she throws in a plug for homeschooling... just kidding. :) *)
I hope you can work with Daniel to improve the areas he needs work. But I hope he doesn't grow up with the idea that the way he operates is the Wrong Way.
And yay you for resisting medication!!
-- SJ
I know! This is what we've been saying for years now. He's a pretty normal 2nd grade boy. I do have to say that his teacher did tell me that he's a very good artist and we should absolutely be nurturing that. However, I didn't think that reading without emotion was a problem.
There are a few things that did concern me (he has a hard time going from the chalkboard to the paper on his desk). That's why I think we'll go ahead with the LD assessment after we see the pediatrician.
And I would have been shocked if you didn't drop homeschooling in your comment! :) Believe me, I've thought about it.
So does that mean I can mention homeschool, as well? I really think that your school district has their bottom line at heart, not the education of your children. They have managed to give all three of your kids issues that, to be honest, I don't think they have. Children are no longer allowed to be children. It's crazy. I think you really should consider homeschool, Barb. You know enough people that do it, plus, you have the education. If I can do it, so can you!!
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